You Can Never Look That Tough In

Holidays Are Also An Opportunity For Kids To Unlearn Every Good Habit They've Learned During The Rest Of The Year. They Don't Go To School. They Get To Stay Up Past Their Bedtime. They Get Candy And Presents For Doing Nothing. Childhood Utopia.

I Don't Want People To Think I Believe In God.

I Always Seem To Be Chosen To Do Very Flattering Things Like The Beard Comb Over Or Go To The Bathroom With The Door Open On Sex And The City Or Be The Guy People Meow At In Super Troopers. It's Great For Self Esteem.

I've Been Doing Theaters Like The Warner For About A Year And We've Found The Earlier You Get The Tickets On Sale The Better Idea You Get On How Many Shows We Will Be Doing.

My Wife Told Me That In The Bible, Abraham Circumcised Himself... Wow! I Can't Even Get To The Bank Before It Closes.