You Can’t Make Everybody Laugh. You Gotta

I'm Just Another Guy Who Thinks He's Smarter Than He Is, In A Long Line Of Them.

The Mistake That People Make In Stand-up Is Thinking They're Profound Or They're Deep When There Are So Many People Who Have More Worthwhile Ways Of Phrasing Things.

You Can’t Make Everybody Laugh. You Gotta Just Do What You Think Is Funny. Just Be Obstreperous To Everybody.

Marie Antoinette Was Funny, I'm Sure She Was Just Misinterpreted. You Know The 'let Them Eat Cake' Line. She Seems Like She Was Kind Of Funny, Like A Chelsea Handler Or Kathy Griffin Type.

I Feel Most Empires Fell When They Started To Act Human, But Then Look At Russia. They Kept A Pretty Strong Hand, And They Fell From Afghanistan Alone Because Afghanistan Is The Graveyard Of Empires. I Guess You Just Can't Sustain It.