You Can Wake Up Every Day And

Everybody Makes Mistakes, That's Why They Put Erasers On Pencils

One Time I Was Doing A Speech To A Group Of Kids, And Just Before I Get There, I See This Little Kid Crying. I Found Out They Just Lost A Game, And He Was The Losing Pitcher. I Went Over There, Put My Arm Around Him, And Said, 'what Are You Crying For? When Major League Players Lose, They Don't Cry.'

Bruce Benedict Is So Slow He'd Finish Third In A Race With A Pregnant Woman.

Baseball Is Like Driving, It's The One Who Gets Home Safely That Counts.

Sometimes You've Just Got To Let An Umpire Know That You're Not Satisfied With His Decision. That They've Missed The Play In Your Opinion. Not That It's Going To Do You Any Good, But You've Got To Let Them Know.