You Don't Have To Swim Faster Than

I Think The Education System Is Great Just The Way It Is. There's Kids In My Neighborhood In Los Angeles, Seven Years Old, That Can Already Speak Fluent Spanish.

When I Began Doing Stand-up, It Took Me A Long Time To Get An Hour's Worth Of Material Together.

Me And Conan O'brien And Robert Smigel And Dana Carvey Wrote A Script Called 'hans And Franz: The Girlyman Dilemma,' And It Was Going To Be Co-produced With Arnold Schwarzenegger, And He Was Going To Co-star In It. We Had A Deal With Sony, We Got Paid To Write It, And It Was A Musical, But It Never Got Made Because...i Think Arnold Kind Of Backed Out At The Last Minute Because He Was Getting Cold Feet Because ;the Last Action Hero' Had Come Out, Where He Was Parodying Himself. But It Was A Really Funny Script, And I Wish It Could've Seen The Light, Because I Think It Would've Done Really Well.

Basically, I'm A People Pleaser Who Has A Knack For Disappointing.

As An Actor, You're Always Reading Scripts Looking For Something Good.