You Know You're Getting Fat When You

My Fashion Philosophy Is, If You're Not Covered In Dog Hair, Your Life Is Empty.

I Know What Men Want. Men Want To Be Really, Really Close To Someone Who Will Leave Them Alone.

When The Sun Comes Up, I Have Morals Again.

I'd Much Rather See Richard Pryor Or Jackie Mason In A Theater Than In A Club.

Calgary Wins For My Coldest New Year's Eve Gig. That's When I Learned Fahrenheit And Celsius Cross At 40 Below. I Could See Callers' Breath Coming Out Of My Phone.