You Know You're Getting Fat When You

There's Only One Difference Between Jews And Catholics. Jews Are Born With Guilt, And Catholics Have To Go To School To Learn It.

I Deliver Very Traditionally, And People Aren't Threatened. I Think If I Cursed Or Seemed Wilder, I Couldn't Get Away With The Amount Of Very Opinionated Politics I Get Away With.

Many Animal Rescue Organizations Hit With A Hard-core, Heartbreaking Message. Their Videos And Stories Can Become Difficult For Average People To Watch. By Taking A More Positive, Heartwarming Approach To Animal Rescue, I've Been Able To Engage People And Keep Them Engaged For Years. Instead Of Selling The Agony And Misery - And Sadly, There Is No Shortage Of That - I Start With The Happy Endings. I Work Backwards So The First Message They Get Is Joy And Success Due To Their Involvement. Opening The Mind With Humor And Joy Gets The Rescue Message In That Much Deeper.

I Am Thankful The Most Important Key In History Was Invented. It's Not The Key To Your House, Your Car, Your Boat, Your Safety Deposit Box, Your Bike Lock Or Your Private Community. It's The Key To Order, Sanity, And Peace Of Mind. The Key Is 'delete.'

I’ve Thought For The Last Decade Or So, The Only Actual Place Raw Truth Was Seeping Through In Newspapers Was On The Comics Pages. They Were Able To Pull Off Intelligent Social Comment, Pure Truths Not Found Elsewhere In The News Pages, And Had The Ability To Make It All Funny, Entertaining, And Pertinent.