You Might Be A Redneck If It's

Every Generation Thinks They Invented Sex, Which Is The Stupidest Assumption In The World Because If That Was The Case, You Wouldn't Even Be Here.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Anniversary Present Was Getting The Septic Tank Pumped.

You May Be A Redneck If... You Have Spent More On Your Pickup Truck Than On Your Education.

I've Been To All 50 States, And Traveled This Whole Country, And 90 Percent Of The People Are Good Folks. The Rest Of Them Take After The Other Side Of The Family.

[about Sex And Being Married] It's Like Being The National Guard, We May Not Be Seeing As Much Action As The Front Line, But We Are Living To Fight Another Day.