You Might Be A Redneck If Your

You Might Be A Redneck If The Ufo Hotline Limits You To One Call A Day.

As A Comic, You Learn To Use Your Voice Because You Don't Have The Benefit Of Visual Things.

That's Just Something Instinctual Within Men. We Always Feel Like We've Got To Protect Our Stuff. Even If It's Not Worth Protecting, We Want To Protect It. You Ever Seen People Who Have Like A Piece Of Crap Pinto With A Club On The Steering Wheel. Somebody Breaks The Window, Steals The Club, Leaves The Pinto In A Pile Of Glass.

The Thing About That Singles Apartment Is You Never Had To Clean It Up... Until The Day You Got The Security Deposit Back. You're Arguing With The Landlord... 'no Sir, The Back Door Was Missing When We Moved In Here! The Pizzas Were Always On The Ceiling!'

You Might Be A Redneck If You Think That The Styrofoam Cooler Is The Greatest Invention Of All Time.