You Want To Know The Secret Of

I Never Really Understood All The Hype, Until I Got One Of My Own.

Let's Face It, It's Only Called Scrubs Because I'm Saving 'zach Braff' For My Autobiography.

I Heard About The Dalai Lama, You Know And I Thought To Myself, Why Not Me?

Now That 'scrubs' Is Over, People Seem To Feel More Comfortable Telling Me That I Was A Total Douche To Them For The Past 8 Years. And The Whole Time I'm Thinking, 'who Are You?'

I Love The Holiday Season, Almost As Much As I Love Touching Myself In Front Of Orphans.