Your Dreams Should Never Be Better Than

Parrots Have Gone A Bit Quiet Since Pirates Have Gone.

I've Always Wanted To Kick A Duck Up The Arse

I Don't Know Why Small Chocolates Are Called Fun-sized; I Mean, If I Called A Midget Fun-sized, They'd Kick Off.

Making The 'an Idiot Abroad' Series, I Was Really Dreading Going To India; I Thought I'd Hate It. It Was A Nightmare, And I Was Really Ill - Just Like Everyone Says.

I Was Still Using My Eyes Even Though I Had Them Shut.