Your Life Isn't Out Of Control. It's

The Dog Ran Into The Kitchen, Stuck His Nose In Grandma's Crotch, And Snuffled. Dang," Grandma Said. "guess My New Perfume Really Works. I'm Gonna Have To Try It Out At The Seniors Meeting.

I'm Done With Men. I Have A Hamster. That's All I Need.

I Don't Want My Readers Slowed Down By Long Passages Of Narrative.

He’s Sort Of A Homeless Horse,” I Said. “i’m Leaving For The Airport In Two Seconds, And I Won’t Be Back For A Couple Days. You Can Put The Horse In The Garage, But I Don’t Want That Horse In My Apartment.” “who Would Put A Horse In An Apartment? That’s Dumb.” “where’s The Horse Staying Now?” “my Apartment.” “i Can Always Count On You To Brighten My Day,” Ranger Said. And He Disconnected.

Why Do You Give Me Cars?" "it's Fun," Ranger Said."and It Keeps You Safe. Do You Want To Know Why Keeping You Safe Is Important To Me?" "you Love Me?" "yes." A Sigh Inadvertently Escaped. "we're Really Screwed Up, Aren't We?" "in A Very Large Way," Ranger Said.