A Friend Will Tell You She Saw

I Don't Know Why No One Ever Thought To Paste A Label On The Toilet-tissue Spindle Giving 1-2-3 Directions For Replacing The Tissue On It. Then Everyone In The House Would Know What Mama Knows.

I'm On A Diet As My Skin Doesn't Fit Me Anymore.

When Humor Goes, There Goes Civilization.

Never Accept A Drink From A Urologist.

Bombeck's Rug Rule: An Ugly Carpet Will Last For Ever.