A Toast To The Weapons Of War,

It's An Awful Thing To Grow Old By Yourself. My Wife Hasn't Had A Birthday In Seven Years.

The World Now Has So Many Problems That If Moses Had Come Down From Mount Sinai Today, The Two Tablets He'd Carry Would Be Aspirin.

Did You Hear About The Woman Who Sent Out 40,000 Valentine Cards Doused In Perfume And Signed, "guess Who?" She's A Divorce Lawyer.

Do You Ever Get The Feeling That The Only Reason We Have Elections Is To Find Out If The Polls Were Right?

Happiness Is A Very Small Desk And A Very Big Wastebasket.