A Vacation Is Having Nothing To Do

I Understand The Big Food Companies Are Developing A Tearless Onion. I Think They Can Do It - After All, They've Already Given Us Tasteless Bread.

When We Laugh We Temporarily Give Ourselves Over To The Person Who Makes Us Laugh.

A Toast To The Weapons Of War, May They Rust In Peace.

With My Luck, If I Ever Invested In General Motors, They'd Bust It To Corporal!

I Got A Valentine's Day Card From My Girl. It Said, 'take My Heart! Take My Arms! Take My Lips!' Which Is Just Like Her. Keeping The Best Part For Herself.