Alcoholism Is The Only Disease That You

I Got Some Tartar-control Toothpaste A While Back. I've Still Got Tartar, But It's Under Control.

I Guess The One-liner Kind Of Comic Sounds Like A Guy Who Can Talk And Talk And Whatever The Subject Is, He Can Pull Out A One-liner, But I Couldn't Do That. I Didn't Like The Association. I Mean, I Love Steven Wright, But So Many People Started Saying "steven Wright" To Me, And I Would Get Mad, Because I Never Wanted To Be Thought Of As Copying Anybody.

It's Very Dangerous To Wave To People You Don't Know Because What If They Don't Have Hands? They'll Think You're Cocky.

Say, I Was On The Craig Kilbourne Show And The Next Day I Flew To Minneapolis. I Was At The Airport And A Guy Came Up. He Said, 'dude, I Saw You On Tv Last Night.' But He Did Not Say Whether Or Not He Thought I Was Good, He Just Confirmed That I Was On Television. So I Turned My Head Away From Him For About A Minute, Then I Turned It Back. I Said, 'dude, I Saw You At The Airport About A Minute Ago. And You Were Good.'

I Hate Flossing, I Wish I Just Had One Long Curvy Tooth. They Didn't Have To Make Separations For Me.