All Mothers Are Working Mothers.

My Own Laugh Is The Real Thing And I've Had It All My Life.

The Reason I'm Not An Alcoholic Is I Don't Like To Drink In Front Of The Kids . . . And When You're Away From Them, Who Needs It?.

When I Go To Bed At Night, I've Got So Much Grease On My Body I Wear Snow Chains To Hold Up My Gown.

I Serve Dinner In Three Phases: Serve The Food, Clear The Table, Bury The Dead.

Your Husband Drinks Too Much If He Says He Never Drinks Alone, But Considers The Goldfish Somebody.