All That The Comedian Has To Show

Television Is A Triumph Of Equipment Over People, And The Minds That Control It Are So Small That You Could Put Them In A Gnat's Navel With Room Left Over For Two Caraway Seeds And An Agent's Heart.

If Criticism Had Any Power To Harm, The Skunk Would Be Extinct By Now.

What's On Your Mind, If You Will Allow The Overstatement.

To A Newspaperman, A Human Being Is An Item With Skin Wrapped Around It.

There Are Two Kinds Of Jokes - Funny Jokes And Jack Benny Jokes.