And For You Kids Watching At Home,

I Don't Do One Show And Wish I Was Doing Something Else.

There's Nothing Like The Energy In A Small Comedy Club Room Or A Small Theater When It's Going Really Well. I Can See Everybody's Face Practically In The Whole Room. There's No Cameras In The Way, And It's Just Me.

Liquor Prohibition Led To The Rise Of Organized Crime In America, And Drug Prohibition Has Led To The Rise Of The Gang Problems We Have Now.

My Cranky Cardiologist Says I'm Destined To Die In The Kitchen.

The Difference Between Las Vegas And Atlantic City Is The Difference Between Getting Conned By A Beautiful Call Girl And Getting Mugged By A Crack Head.