If A Thing Is Worth Having, It's

The World Is Getting To Be Such A Dangerous Place, A Man Is Lucky To Get Out Of It Alive.

If It Is A Joint Return, We Are Instructed To Print The Given Names Of Both Husband And Wife. But Since Some Of The Names That Husband And Wife Give Each Other Are Hardly Suited To Print, We Must Proceed Cautiously.

Take Me Down To The Bar! We'll Drink Breakfast Together!

Beer: Helping Ugly People Have Sex Since 3000 B. C.

W. C. Fields, A Lifetime Agnostic, Was Discovered Reading A Bible On His Deathbed. ''i'm Looking For A Loop-hole,'' He Explained.