As A Parent, I'd - I'd Be

One Thing I've Never Said In My Whole Life Is, 'let's Have Dinner At A Japanese Restaurant.'

The Ability To Absorb A Book And Make Someone Else's Words And Story Your Own Was Exactly Was I Was Doing On Stage.

If You Want To Read About Love And Marriage, You've Got To Buy Two Separate Books.

Let's Face It: It's Difficult Enough To Be Funny Without Worrying About What Is Going To Offend Whom.

When I Was In The Hospital They Gave Me Apple Juice Every Morning, Even After I Told Them I Didn't Like It. I Had To Get Even. One Morning, I Poured The Apple Juice Into The Specimen Tube. The Nurse Held It Up And Said, 'it's A Little Cloudy.' I Took The Tube From Her And Said, 'let Me Run It Through Again,' And Drank It. The Nurse Fainted.