As Soon As I Did My First

All Comedians Are A Bit Attention-seeking And I'm No Different. Anyone With The Audacity To Want To Be Listened To For An Hour And A Half Must Be.

I'm Not Worried About The Third World War. That's The Third World's Problem.

I Saw That Show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I Would Have Thought The Obvious One Was 'shout For Help'.

I Was In The South Of France. I Saw A Brownie On A School Trip. She Was Holding Up A Book. It Said On The Front 'rough Guide'. I Thought: 'yeah' She's Not A Looker.

It Had To Be Hammered Home Quite A Bit Because I Didn't See Any Humour In My Life At All.