Beethoven Wrote In Three Flats A Lot.

(referring To The Piano's Natural Shape) Isn't It A Shame When Those Big Fat Opera Singers Lean Against The Pianos And Bend Them?

(responding To A Sneeze From The Audience) Who Exploded?

The Elephant Smoked Too Much.(explaining Why The Keys Of His Piano Were So Yellow)

And Now, In Honour Of The 150th Anniversary Of Beethoven's Death, I Would Like To Play 'clear The Saloon', Er, 'clair De Lune', By Debussy. I Don't Play Beethoven So Well, But I Play Debussy Very Badly, And Beethoven Would Have Liked That.

You Want Something By Bach? Which One, Johann Sebastian Or Jacques Offen?