Before I Met Her, I Drank And

Did You Ever Notice That Everyone In Favour Of Birth Control Has Already Been Born ?

I Thought I Couldn't Afford To Take Her Out And Smoke As Well. So I Gave Up Cigarettes. Then I Took Her Out And One Day I Looked At Her And Thought: 'oh Well,' And I Went Back To Smoking Again, And That Was Better.

Those Hot Pants Of Hers Were So Damned Tight, I Could Hardly Breathe.

Just Because Nobody Complains Doesn't Mean All Parachutes Are Perfect.

I Never Yell, I Never Tell, But I'm Grateful As Hell.