Before I Met Her, I Drank And

The Odds Against There Being A Bomb On A Plane Are A Million To One, And Against Two Bombs A Million Times A Million To One. Next Time You Fly, Cut The Odds And Take A Bomb.

I'm Not Against Half Naked Girls - Not As Often As I'd Like To Be.

I Never Yell, I Never Tell, But I'm Grateful As Hell.

That's What Show Business Is, Sincere Insincerity.

Girls Are Like Pianos. When They're Not Upright, They're Grand.