Buried My Wife The Other Day. Had

The Two-headed Boy In The Circus Never Had Such A Headache.

I Like Children. If They're Properly Cooked.

Beer: Helping Ugly People Have Sex Since 3000 B. C.

It's What You Do That Counts And Not What You Say; Therefore I Fired My Press Agent.

Christmas At My House Is Always At Least Six Or Seven Times More Pleasant Than Anywhere Else. We Start Drinking Early. And While Everyone Else Is Seeing Only One Santa Claus, We'll Be Seeing Six Or Seven.