Cats Are A Waste Of Fur.

I Don't Like When There's Too Much Conversation Because I'm Shy And It Makes Me Uncomfortable.

I Had The Most Boring Office Job In The World...i Used To Clean The Windows On Envelopes.

At The End Of Every Year, I Add Up The Time That I Have Spent On The Phone On Hold And Subtract It From My Age. I Don't Count That Time As Really Living. I Spend More And More Time On Hold Each Year. By The Time I Die, I'm Going To Be Quite Young.

The Time You Spend Grieving Over A Man Should Never Exceed The Amount Of Time You Actually Spent With Him

A Saleslady Holds Up An Ugly Dress And Says, 'this Looks Much Better On.' On What? On Fire?