Cats Have Nine Lives. Makes Them Ideal

My Dad's Dying Wish Was To Have His Family Around Him. I Can't Help Thinking He Would Have Been Better Off With More Oxygen.

My Favourite Road Sign Is 'falling Rocks'. What Exactly Am I Supposed To Do With That Information? They May As Well Have A Sign Saying "random Accidents Ahead", "life's A Lottery, Be Lucky."

Viagra Has Instructions: 'keep Away From Children' - What Kind Of Man Do You Think I Am?

I Used To Buy Lottery Tickets Every Week Until I Realised You Could Watch It On Tv For Nothing.

British Scientists Have Demonstrated That Cigarettes Can Harm Your Children. Fair Enough. Use An Ashtray!