Children Should Neither Be Seen Or Heard

The Clever Cat Eats Cheese And Breathes Down Rat Holes With Baited Breath.

Thou Shalt Not Kill Anything Less Than A Fifth.

No One Likes The Fellow Who Is All Rogue, But We'll Forgive Him Almost Anything If There Is Warmth Of Human Sympathy Underneath His Rogueries. The Immortal Types Of Comedy Are Just Such Men.

Thou Shalt Not Steal-only From Other Comedians.

Variant: I Was Driven To Drink By A Woman. I Am Forever Grateful, Yet I Never Had The Good Manners To Thank Her.