Dear Semi Hot Girl Taking Photos On

Ma'am, Are You Trying To Molest Me Via Drivethru?

You Have To Have A Strong Sense Of Humor To Date Me, And Also Know That You're Probably Going To Be A Part Of The Routine Quite A Bit.

I'm A Deep Thinker When It Comes To Shallow No Brainers.

If You Think Your Demeanor Is Mellow Or Not Particularly Charismatic, The Material Can Life You Higher. So Write Everyday, And Get Onstage Or In A Coffee Shop Where They Are Doing Open Mice, Anywhere You Can Perform Even If That Means Starting Your Own Open Mic Night - And Be Your Own Self.

I Would Still Have Old Ladies Come Up To Me After The Show And Pat Me On The Cheek After I Had Said All This Vulgar Stuff. They Would Be Like, 'oh You're A Silly Boy - We Know You're Just Playing.