Dear Semi Hot Girl Taking Photos On

Why Do Bad Guys In Movies Always Love To Whistle Really Slowly?

My Brain Is Very Fantastical. If I Ever Actually Recorded Myself, I Could Probably Win A Grammy For Sex Talk. Being On The Road While In Relationships, You Need To Learn To Pleasure One Another.

I Can't Do Anything! I Can't Even Have An English Muffin!

Onstage, It's All Just A Heightened And More Elaborate Version Of Me. When You're Standing Onstage, Your Adrenaline Is Going, Your Enthusiasm Is At Full Tilt, And The Excitement Helps Elevate You're Attitude. I've Always Wanted To Be As Close To Myself Offstage, Being Funny With My Buddies, And That's What I've Worked Hard On - Being Authentic To Who I Really Am.

You Know You're Lazy When You Run Out Of Toilet Paper And Use The Cardboard Roll To Wipe With.