Dogs And Cats Get Put To Sleep;

I'm Always Relieved When Someone Is Delivering A Eulogy And I Realize I'm Listening To It.

People Have Material Needs, But You Don't Need A Deodorant For Every Different Day Of The Week. You Don't Need Four Hundred Varieties Of Mustard. This Is What I Call Too Many Choices. There Are Too Many Choices In America.

The Only Thing High-definition Television Will Do Is Provide Sharper Images Of The Garbage.

In Comic Strips, The Person On The Left Always Speaks First.

When I Listen To Those Tapes Now, The Real Cocaine Shows; There's Just Nothing Special About Their Content.