Every Dude In Here Has Had A

Sometimes. I Get Recognized, But I'm Not Really A Famous Famous. I'm Pretty Low On The Showbiz Totem Pole - I Mean, I'm No Jon Or Kate Plus Eight. I'm Just A Comic, Not A Baby Factory.

You Ever Make Fun Of Someone So Much, You Think You Should Thank Them For All The Good Times You've Had?

It's A Horrible Economy But I'm Trying To Do My Part. I Just Bought A New Shower Curtain It Has All The Presidents On It. Do You Know How Hard It Is To Masturbate With All The Presidents Staring At You? And When The Water Hits Them It Looks Like They're Crying.

I Masturbate! I Do It Like I Think If I Keep Doing It, I'm Gonna Win Something.

I Like Doing Stand-up And I Love Putting Out Tv Specials. I'm Not An Actor Though, So I Don't Really Have Much Choice In The Matter.