Every Joke Has Its Origin - The

Every Time You Come In From Cheating On Someone, They'll Just Whip Out The Most Adorable Term Of Endearment. Like, They'll Wake Up, Bright And Early, Sleep In Their Eyes And Say: "hey, Perfect."

If You Think Your Demeanor Is Mellow Or Not Particularly Charismatic, The Material Can Life You Higher. So Write Everyday, And Get Onstage Or In A Coffee Shop Where They Are Doing Open Mice, Anywhere You Can Perform Even If That Means Starting Your Own Open Mic Night - And Be Your Own Self.

When You Hand Someone A Camera, Why Do They Act Like You Just Asked Them To Dissemble A Bomb? They Take It And They're Like, 'what Do I Do ... I Don't Really ... Ha-huh ...' Yeah, It's The Button On The Top Right Where It Always Is Since The Beginning Of #*@! Time!

I Always Wanted To Be A Snake. Every Time I Saw A Snake On Tv. I'd Always Say 'why Not Me?'

When Somebody Says I Wouldn't Change A Thing They're Thinking Of Something They Would Change.