Every Time I See Peter Falk In

A New Child In The House Is A Huge Tourist Attraction. It's Like Disneyland, Except There The Lines Are Longer And No One Brings Casseroles.

Sometimes It Works Out Well, And Certain Household Responsibilities Fall Naturally To Those Who Like Doing Them. For Example, My Wife Likes To Pack Suitcases, I Like To Unpack Them. My Wife Likes To Buy Groceries, I Like To Put Them Away. I Do. I Like The Handling And Discovering, And The Location Assignments. Cans - Over There. Fruit - Over There. Bananas - Not So Fast. You Go Over Here. When You Learn Not To Go Bad So Quickly, Then You Can Stay With The Rest Of Your Friends.

Get A Good Dog. We Have Not Picked Up Food In The Kitchen In 15 Years.

So Where Did These Cravings Come From? I Concluded It's The Baby Ordering In. Prenatal Takeout. Even Without Ever Being In A Restaurant, Fetuses Develop Remarkably Discerning Palates, And They Are Not Shy About Demanding What They Want. If They Get A Hankering, They Just Pick Up The Umbilical Cord And Call. 'you Know What Would Taste Good Right Now? A Cheeseburger, Large Fries, And A Vanilla Shake. And If You Could, Hurry It Up, Because I'm Supposed To Grow A Lung In A Half Hour.'

That's The Nice Thing About Doing Stand-up. There's No Development, You Just Go Out There And Get An Immediate Response As To Whether Something Is Good Or Bad. Getting A Laugh Is The Best Measure Of How Well You're Doing.