Experience Is What You Have After You've

My Wife Wants Something Foreign For Christmas - Like A Mexican Divorce.

Radio... That Wonderful Invention By Which I Can Reach Millions Of People... Who Fortunately Can't Reach Me.

On Valentine's Day, I Wired Flowers For My Mother-in-law, But She Found The Fuse.

Money Can't Buy You Happiness. It Just Helps You Look For It In More Places.

I Don't Mind Personal Insults, But When You Insult The Jokes That I Tell You're Insulting Fred Allen, Bob Hope, Burns And Allen, Trevor Mcgee And Molly Picon.