For Some Reason Cowboy Sounds Better Than

Parades Are Man's Attempt To Make Traffic Exciting.

There Are Jokes I Know I Want To Tell, And There's Sort Of A Rough Order, But Usually I Try To Change It Up Every Show, To Improvise And Talk With The Audience. I Think When You Tell Jokes, If You're Not Careful, You Can End Up Telling The Whole List Of Jokes And Then That's It. And That Can Get A Little Boring.

I Want To Make A Revolving Door That Says 'pull' On It, Just See How Obedient People Are.

If You Want To Feel Less Sexy Put Scotch Tape On Your Nipples.

Don't Talk To Strangers. Sure, Unless You Want To Meet Anyone Ever.