For Some Reason Cowboy Sounds Better Than

I Didn't Do Improv In College, I Never Performed, I Didn't Do Theater Either. I Was In Student Government, I Was A History Major.

I Am The Walrus, But Not The One You're Probably Thinking Of. I Am The Other Walrus, The One Who Is Less The Walrus In The Sense Of Legendary Music And More The Walrus In The Sense Of His Tendency To To Lie Around In Places For Too Long.

Why Are There Not Positive Mysteries? It's Always Who Stole The Diamond, Or Who Killed The Butler? How About... Who Made Cookies, Somebody Cleaned My Room.

There Is Also A Beast, A Beast Of Strange Dimensions. He Has The Head Of A Horse And The Body Of A Man Who Needs A Lot Of Attention. He Represents Me In College: I Was A Dork-ataur.

Statistics Indicate That The Average American Is A Guy Named Brian Who Lives In Ohio.