Golf Is A Game That Needlessly Prolongs

I Can't Give Up Golf, I've Got Too Many Sweaters.

I Left England When I Was Four Because I Found Out I Could Never Be King.

I've Been Playing The Game So Long That My Handicap Is In Roman Numerals.

The Older You Get, The Tougher It Is To Lose Weight, Because By Then Your Body And Your Fat Are Really Good Friends.

You Know You're Getting Old When The Candles Cost More Than The Cake.