Golf Is My Profession Show Business Is

Jack Benny Really Liked My Book. I Know Because He Called Me Up From The Library And Told Me.

Titleist Has Offered Me A Big Contract Not To Play Its Balls.

You Could Buy My Book In A Paperback Edition For A Dollar, And In Hard Covers For $3.50. And For Fifty Cents Extra, I Come Around To Your House Personally And Wet Your Finger While You're Turning The Pages.

I Never Kick My Ball In The Rough Or Improve My Lie In A Sand Trap. For That I Have A Caddie.

There Are Many Talented English Personalities, But Unfortunately They Were All In Hollywood.