He Doesn't Sound Like A Guy Who's

Millions Of Guys Play Millions Of Basketball Games Every Day Of The Week At The Playground Or The Ymca. But Lebron James Gets $20 Million A Year Because He Can Jam On All Of Those Guys. We're Always Going To Want To See Lebron And Kobe Go At It.

Of Course On Air I Use Occasional Hyperbole To Tell A Story.

The Reason I Hate Publicists Is Because I Think If We Got Rid Of Them Everything Would Be On Equal Footing.

As I Said In My Last Book, Birds Are Mean. They're The Only Pet That, When They Escape, The Owners Are Relieved. You Can Tell A Species Is Evil By Doing This Simple Math. If My Blond Lab Molly Was The Size Of T-rex, That Would Just Mean More Kibble, More Work For The Gardener In The Backyard, And A Harder Time Moving Her To My Wife's Side Of The Bed At Night. If Birds Were The Size Of A T-rex, The Streets Would Be Littered With Human Remains.

I Don't Think I've Ever Seen Pie Advertised. That's How You Know It's Good. They Advertise Ice Cream And Other Desserts. They Advertise The Bejeeezus Out Of Yogurt, But I Haven't Seen One Pie Commercial.