He That Searches For Praise Will Often

They Say That If You're Afraid Of Homosexuals, It Means That Deep Down Inside You're Actually A Homosexual Yourself. That Worries Me Because I'm Afraid Of Dogs.

Whenever I Do Theaters, I Don't Like 'em. I Don't Think They're Right For Stand-up.

He That Searches For Praise Will Often Find Contempt.

During Misfortunes, Nothing Aggravates Our Condition More, Than To Be Esteemed Deserving Of Them.

Comedy Is Surprises, So If You're Intending To Make Somebody Laugh And They Don't Laugh, That's Funny.