I Am Descended From A Very Long

When I Go To Bed At Night, I've Got So Much Grease On My Body I Wear Snow Chains To Hold Up My Gown.

He Has So Many Muscles He Has To Make An Appointment To Move His Fingers.

My Husband Is So Useless That It's Hard For Me To Be Romantic With Him. I Get Down On The Floor And Say, If You Love Me, Blink Your Eyes.

My Body's In Such Bad Shape I Wear Prescription Underwear.

Religion Is Such A Medieval Idea. Don't Get Me Started. I Have Thought About Every Facet Of Religion, And I Can't Buy Any Of It.