I Can't Do That. I'm Already The

Hollywood People Are Filled With Guilt: White Guilt, Liberal Guilt, Money Guilt. They Feel Bad That They're So Rich, They Feel They Don't Work That Much For All That Money - And They Don't, For The Amount Of Money They Make.

Eating Crappy Food Isn't A Reward -- It's A Punishment.

My Fans Are Pretty Normal, They Are Always Really Nice And Polite, And They Don't Interrupt My Meals.

I Used To Go To The Library All The Time When I Was Kid. As A Teenager, I Got A Book On How To Write Jokes At The Library, And That, In Turn, Launched My Comedy Career.

The Difference Between Las Vegas And Atlantic City Is The Difference Between Getting Conned By A Beautiful Call Girl And Getting Mugged By A Crack Head.