I Could Be The Greta Garbo Of

I Hate Thin People; 'oh, Does The Tampon Make Me Look Fat?'

If You Can't Make Fun Of Yourself, You Don't Have Any Right To Make Fun Of Others

I Love Gay And Lesbian Parents. But I Think We Need A Law That Says Lesbians And Gay Men Have To Raise Their Children Together. This Way, The Kids Would Not Only Know How To Build Bookshelves, But They'd Also Instinctively Know How To Decorate Them.

I Finally Found Out How Priests Get Holy Water. They Boil The Hell Out Of It.

I Succeeded By Saying What Everyone Else Is Thinking.