I'd Rather Be In Las Vegas 104

For The Sake Of Your Marriage, Get A King-size Bed. And If You Really Want To Stay Married, Get Two.

I Don't Want To Be A Spokesman For Family Values, But That's The Way My Standup Is Perceived.

That's When You Know You're A True Married Couple: When You Have To Apologize For What You Did In Her Dream.

I'm Now Unemployed. It's A Weird Feeling With No Work, But At Least There's Still Golf. Standup Comedy Is Like My Core, It's What I Do. But I Want To Be A Pro Golfer. It's A Love/hate Relationship With Golf. I Can Come Away Feeling So Serene, And Yet, It's The Thing That I Can Let Get To Me To Throw A Club And Say Curses That Don't Even Exist. I'm Obsessed With Something That Won't Let Me Master It. I Don't Know. I Need Therapy.

I Would Get My Student Loans, Get Money, Register And Never Really Go. It Was A System I Thought Would Somehow Pan Out.