I Did A Gig In The U.s.

You Never Want To Be The Grumpy Guy, Although I Do Have Quite A Grumpy Face.

I Saw That Show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I Would Have Thought The Obvious One Was 'shout For Help'.

There's Things That I Couldn't Joke About But Other People Could.

I Live Near A Remedial School. There Is A Sign That Says, Slow... Children. That Can't Be Good For Their Self Esteem. But Look Of Course On The Positive Side, They Can't Read It.

A Lady With A Clipboard Stopped Me In The Street The Other Day. She Said, 'can You Spare A Few Minutes For Cancer Research?' I Said, 'all Right, But We Won't Get Much Done.'