I Do Realise That When I Laugh,

In Pizza Express You Can Get Garlic Bread With Cheese And Tomato. Now Correct Me If I'm Wrong, But That's A Pizza.

I Am Trying To Release Endorphins Here. I Am Not Preaching To You - I Am Trying To Make You Laugh.

A Big Girl Once Came Up To Me After A Show And Said "i Think You're Fatist." I Said "no, No. I Think You're Fattest."

My Favourite Road Sign Is 'falling Rocks'. What Exactly Am I Supposed To Do With That Information? They May As Well Have A Sign Saying "random Accidents Ahead", "life's A Lottery, Be Lucky."

I Worry About My Nan. If She's Alone And Falls, Does She Make A Noise? I'm Joking, She's Dead.