I'm Not Being Condescending, I'm Too Busy

It Is Such A Social Thing, Laughing. Two Thousand People In A Room Laughing Is Such A Great Buzz And They Tend To Laugh Much More In A Group.

A Lady With A Clipboard Stopped Me In The Street The Other Day. She Said, 'can You Spare A Few Minutes For Cancer Research?' I Said, 'all Right, But We Won't Get Much Done.'

I Live Near A Remedial School. There Is A Sign That Says, Slow... Children. That Can't Be Good For Their Self Esteem. But Look Of Course On The Positive Side, They Can't Read It.

If We're All God's Children, What's So Special About Jesus?

After A Gig I Always Head Back To The Hotel, Remembering Granny's Words Of Wisdom. I Cancel The Late-night Pizza And Watch The Jonathan Ross Show Instead.