I Don't Drink. I Don't Like It.

I Never Watch The Dinah Shore Show- I'm A Diabetic.

Debbie Reynolds Is As Wistful As An Iron Foundry.

An Epigram Is Only A Wisecrack That's Played At Carnegie Hall.

You Can't Possibly Hear The Last Movement Of Beethoven's Seventh And Go Slow. (oscar Trying To Talk His Way Out Of A Speeding Ticket)

When I Can't Sleep, I Read A Book By Steve Allen.