I Don't Have A Bluetooth Thing On

In Any Other Job, They're Truck Drivers. In Show-biz, They're Transportation Captains.

I Moved From Cleveland To L.a. With A Girlfriend, We Broke Up, And I Lived Out Of My Car For A Year And A Half, On The Road With Nothing On My Mind But Getting My Act Good Enough To Be On 'the Tonight Show.'

You Know What I Worry About? I Worry That When I Hit My Head, It Pushes My Hair Into My Brain, And It Will Eventually Kill Me.

Nothing's Funny About Someone Who's Successful.

It Sucks Being Fat, You Know.