I Don't Watch Reality Tv.

I Watch The Discovery Channel, And You Know What I've Discovered? I Need A Girlfriend.

Jesse Joyce Is A Great Writer.

I Gotta Quit Smoking, Doctor's Orders, And The Drinking, Court Orders.

You Know What Wakes Me Up? A Tongue In The Ass. There Is No Alarm Clock On That One, You Are Up, You Are Shaking, You Are In A Karate Stance.....the Day Has Begun.

I Went Skiing Today, Too, Yeah. I Didn't Wanna Go. The Girl I'm Stalking Wanted To Go, So... I'm Not Kiddin!