I Gave My Wife A Kiss This

I Asked A Shop Owner If He Could Help Me Out. He Said: "what Way Did You Come In?"

An Englishman, Irishman And Scotsman Were Invited To A Christmas Party. The Englishman Brought A Bag Of Tinsel, The Scotsman Brought A Bag Of Holly And They Asked The Irishman: "what Have You Brought?" He Said: "i Brought A Pair Of Knickers." They Asked: "what Has That Got To Do With Christmas?" He Said "they're Carol's."

I Have A Pacemaker In, But It Doesn't Work Very Well, Because Every Time I Fart The Garage Door Opens.

My Irish Mate Told Me, If You File Down The Edges Of A 50 Pence Piece, You Can Use It As A 10p.

People In Northern Ireland Vote For Their Church, They Don't Vote With Their Heads; It Is Ridiculous.