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I Got An Ant Farm. Them Fellas Didn't Grow Anything. Hey, How About Some Celery? Plus, If I Tore Your Legs Off, You Would Look Like Snowmen.
-Mitch Hedberg
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I Got An Ant Farm. Them Fellas
Mitch Hedberg
I Got An Ant Farm. Them Fellas Didn't Grow Anything. Hey, How About Some Celery? Plus, If I Tore Your Legs Off, You Would Look Like Snowmen.
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Funny
Humor
Ants
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