I Got Some New Underwear The Other

I Never Cheated On My Wife. I Took Seriously Those Vows Of Celibacy.

You Know What I Hate? Indian Givers... No, I Take That Back.

I Caught My Wife In Bed With Another Man And I Was Crushed. So I Said, "get Off Of Me, You Two!"

I Once Heard Two Ladies Going On And On About The Pains Of Childbirth And How Men Don't Seem To Know What Real Pain Is. I Asked If Either Of Them Ever Got Themselves Caught In A Zipper.

The Subconscious Is Like Having A Laboratory Assistant Who Pretends To Love You And Help You, But After You Go Home To Go To Sleep It Goes Back Into The Lab And Starts Fumbling With The Data And Destroying It. It's A Very Tricky Thing. People Think Our Minds Are Us, But That's Not True At All. The Mind Is Not Us.